If you don’t have a well-seasoned dating profile, then your dating life isn’t going to be quite what you’d hoped it for it to be.
That’s your goal, right? To finally leave office on Friday night and meet the woman of your dreams, right?
The Ins And Outs Of An Excellent Online Dating Profile
Imagine the type of weekend night that could turn into more than one night of passion, if you play your online dating cards right.
First, I want to share with you the devastating mistakes guys make online that push women away. If you are using any of the best cougar dating sites out there right now you will want to avoid these. There are more than I can count on both hands but I’ll give you the worst slip-of-the-tongue issues I’ve ever seen.
Speaking Of Tongue— Hide It In Your Online Dating Profile
Don’t stick your tongue out in your photos. Yeah, you might think you’re legit competition for Gene Simmons from KISS— but you’re not.
Just because you’ve got a tongue and show it off doesn’t tell an older woman that you know how to use it. It doesn’t make you look like a smooth-talking bad-boy. Sticking your tongue out on your online dating profile makes you look juvenile.
You’re already younger than the woman you’re going after. Don’t be immature.
Use Your Head In Online Dating Profiles
Pictures are the first things women will notice online. You’ve got to have great photos! One of the worst mistakes I’ve seen on all dating sites is guys will have three close-up head shots and no body-shots.
Not only are these photos just of their head— they’re staring right into the camera and women can see this as off-putting or creepy looking.
Post at least one close up and one body. More than two shots are better. Use three to seven pictures in total with some variety in them. You should be able to show your awesomeness in less than 10 photos.
If you are sitting in a photo, use an alpha stance. Masculine men take up a lot of room. Don’t put your legs together. Keep your knees apart.
In a photo, if you are playing sports, try to get one shot of you running with the ball away from the other guys. It will make you seem like a masculine alpha man that confident cougars love.
According to OKCupid, men online get more action when they’re not looking at the camera and not smiling. This research was from 2010. Photofeeler got similar results though they differ just a bit. They did their own research with their online tool. Photo feeler’s analysis noted that whether men smile or not doesn’t make a big difference.
So instead of posing the same old shot in the front seat of your car do something different in every picture. Bring some spice to your photos. Smile in one, look away in another and do your own testing to see what pics get the most swipes.
Three photos that look the same except that you are wearing a different hat don’t show your personality. Stand out by having photos that differ from one another.
Have several photos that are different. Step away from the toilet when you’re doing a selfie. I’m begging you. Ladies don’t want to think about what just went on there.
Have some pics of you with animals, outside, jumping, playing a game— just do something engaging in at least one picture.
Give Her Details In Your Online Dating Profile
Women notice little details and your first impression counts big time. According to a study at New York University by Daniela Schiller was digging in to find out about first impressions.
Researchers scanned participant’s brains while they were shown a photograph of a fac e and listened to six sentences about the person in the photo. Half the sentences were positive traits and the other half were negative. When a woman gets her first impression of you, this is what is happening in her brain:
- The amygdala controls her motivations and moderates her actions by telling her to swipe you or not.
- The posterior cingulate cortex part of her brain activates when evaluating objects (at this point— you are the object). When this happens, she’s either placing a high value on you or not. It also regulates risky decisions and helps her see if you’re a good match.
- These two parts of a woman’s brain work together and help her form her first impression of you.
Every woman online is “scoring” you from zero to hero. So you better make your profile amazing.
Swipe right or swipe left. This effect happens in a blink of women’s big brown eyes.
A women’s brain is assessing you like she would price some shoes at the mall. Are these shoes worth $80 for my date on Friday night? Or should I go to the discount store and one pay $3 for a pair and just go to McDonald’s instead?
In your profile, you’re showing her your worth, not with dollar signs, but with your words and photos so you can get a date. This value also can show up on a scale of getting a date on a weekday versus the weekend.
If you’re showing her that you’re a high-value guy with your profile, you might get to see her on Friday night. If you’re in the OK-Maybe range, maybe she’ll meet you for coffee on Monday morning after she had her other hot date on Saturday.
Your profile needs to show her that you’re more valuable than other men, and will make her life better, more comfortable and more fun — not more difficult.
Show Your Value In Your Online Profile With Your Words
Unless you’ve got abs like The Rock or look like Jamie Fox, then you need to step up and write some good stuff on your profile.
Ordinary profiles will get you average dates if you’re lucky, or no dates at all.
These are some annoying, low-value phrases I found while man shopping around for younger men on Tinder.
Don’t Use These Phrases In Your Online Dating Profile
- Have fun
- I like to read
- Work hard play harder
- I work
- Looking for a good woman for good times
- Ask me anything
- I need some fun in my life
- I like sports
- I’m very passionate
Ho-hum phrases sound like every other run-of-the-mill profile in the online-dating multiverse. You don’t want a woman to tolerate your profile. You want a woman to be enamored by your wit, your charm or your good looks.
If you don’t have all three, you need to amplify attention to the one or two you do have. You don’t have to be Brad Pitt to attract women online. But you do have to have something interesting to say to inspire women to swipe you right.
Another terrible thing to put online is:
“I have no filter.”
This type of phrase online is not acceptable. And if you don’t have a filter you need to learn how to think before you speak.
Women don’t want to hear about how your ex is in prison for stalking your last girlfriend. Nor do they want to read that you’re not over your stripey-jumpsuit-wearing ex yet.
Women don’t want to know these kinds of things. TMI. You can tell her that stuff later— or not.
Let A Women Get To Know You Online With Specifics
Instead of saying:
“I like sports.”
“I would love to have fun partner to eat hot dogs with at the Mets games in the summer. I love it when a woman wears a baseball cap.”
Women are masters of reading between the lines. When you put in a little effort into telling her about your passions it tells her you’re a more high-value man than the other men online.
A woman will read all of these things out of that little clip.
- She knows you love baseball.
- The Mets are your favorite team.
- You would prefer to go the game with a lady friend than your drunken amigos.
- You’ll take date planning off of her shoulders so she can relax and have more fun.
- There’s time in your life for a woman.
- You will bring value to her instead of expecting her to do all of the work.
Wow. Look how much info she got from two small sentences.
Don’t say this:
“I need some fun in my life,”
A woman will interpret this line like this:
- This guy is boring.
- He’s looking for me to entertain him.
- This man has no life.
- He’s going to drain me.
- Another guy who is looking at me to plan everything.
- I’m sick of lazy men like this.
These are the kinds of thoughts that go through the mind of a woman when she’s swiping online.
Trite online dating profiles are unattractive to high-value older women.
Talk about specific fun things you WILL be doing now or in the future. If you’re uninteresting get out there and do something interesting. Then you’ll have something to talk about in your profile.
Build Mystery With Your Online Profile
Becoming more interesting could be trying a new craft beer, going bowling, cooking a new dish or picking up a book on how to satisfy a woman. You can talk about these things in your profile.
Something as simple as:
“I recently read a fascinating book about women. If we get to know each other better, I’ll tell you about it. Or even better yet, I’ll show you.”
This line will give her some mystery and make her wonder, swipe right, message you and even take you home.
I suggest your first exciting read needs to be She Comes First. It’s a book that should be on every guy’s bookshelf. There are things in this book that most women don’t even know about themselves.
If you learn the tips in this book, any woman will follow you around the world like a puppy dog.
Steal These Lines For Your Online Dating Profile
- “If we like each other, you can have access to my HBO and Netflix logins.”
- “I might use a lot of your conditioner because I like my hair to be as soft as yours, haha.”
- “I’m a ____________ enthusiast. And like to do ____________.”
- “I’m an open book and the book is _____________.” [Put in your favorite sexy or funny book]
- “This summer I plan on _________________.” [Add an interesting adventure you would like to do with a woman]
- “I like to cook______________ and need a guinea pig for some new recipes.”
- “I know about this secret hole in the wall ____________. If you’re lucky, I’ll take you there.” [Insert favorite type of restaurant]
Words like these build a connection before you even meet. There’s always more to learn about women, dating, relationships, and suggestions for an online dating profile that older women will love. Keep reading, keep swiping and please for the love of God, update your online profile!