‘We need to talk’ is one of the most dreaded sentences in the world. Whether it is coming from your long term significant other or your intimidating manager, whenever someone utters those words, we simply assume the worst.
Are they breaking up with me?
Are they going to kick me out?
Did they somehow find out about what I did last summer?
Am I going to get fired?
Are they dying?
Am I dying???
Once this train of thought begins . . . it is never ending and the scary assumptions are enough to give anyone a panic attack.
Most of us have been in a position where our boss has wanted to see us in private, and from the moment they ask us to come inside their office, our brains start picturing terribly tragic scenarios. Even our colleagues begin giving us sympathetic smiles, encouraging nods and … satisfactory sneers.
Here are some of the craziest thoughts we have all had when our supervisor tell us they want to have ‘the talk’.
- Am I Going to be Blamed?
When working within a small team, things tend to get sour every now and then. For example, when one team member messes up a task and somehow the blame lands on you. Whether it is or isn’t your fault that your team member messed up, chances are as tension rises in the air, you are writing a long speech in your head about how whatever happened isn’t your fault but indeed the other person’s fault
- Could My Boss Possibly Be in Love with Me?
First of all, don’t flatter yourself and let’s keep it real. Your life is not a chapter from Fifty Shades of Grey, and honestly that must be the last thing on your boss’ mind. They are actually worrying about the ever-rising office electricity bills and how clean air can save them so much money. Moreover, do you truly want to imagine your grumpy old boss having a thing for you? Ahem.
- Am I Finally Going to Get a Raise?
The constant back pain, the bloodshot eyes and the throbbing headache scream at you that this talk better be about a raise. When the manager calls to see you, you instantly have nerve-racking flashbacks about the long days you spent bent over the desk and long nights you spent staring at the computer screen clicking away the keys. Oh, how could it not be about the raise!
- Could this be About My Long Bathroom Trips?
Even though you were super sneaky about it, the long bathroom trips were actually quite noticeable to everyone. Your boss and colleagues might not know that you suffer from the painful curse of irritable bowel movements. They might have decided that you have been spending that half an hour every day watching funny viral videos on YouTube. Well, they aren’t completely wrong.
- Am I About to be Fired?
Yikes! This is probably the first thought you have, and it is scariest of them all. God forbid if it ever happens. You imagine your cruel boss sitting with a smirk on their face, and you crying your eyes out like there is no tomorrow. Your worst fear has come true. You are fired. Who is going to pay the mortgage, kids’ fees and all those bar tabs? You gloomily look at your ‘last’ pair of luxury shoes and think about switching to minimalism and sustainable living.
While some of the crazy thoughts you have when your boss wants to see you do turn out to be real, they happen rarely. So, next time your boss wants to have the talk, just take a deep breath, smile, and walk to their office with confidence. Who knows, you might be getting a promotion with a big fat check after all!