As you read this letter I have probably boarded the plane to a long vacation. I’m leaving your company to be a globetrotter for two reasons. One, I have spent three in your citadel of meaninglessness I finally got my promotion yesterday. With my raised salary I can now be able to afford one large pizza with extra toppings a month. Yes, that was the percentage. I was told with magnitude of fake enthusiasm by one of your petted office fairies about my two pages long added responsibility that you’d gift wrapped with my promotion. If this you think is not a good enough, I’d give you my second reason.
I hate my boss.
Yes, that in fact should have been the primary reason for this letter on your desk. By the way, have you noticed the stained pages? It’s because I poured my unfinished coffee on your desk.
You, dear boss, are a self-seeking, indolent person. You know the everyday rants on ‘I hate my boss’ in the lobby downstairs during chai breaks by your ESTEEMED employees, but you couldn’t care less. You have your legacy of nepotism going on. A handful of incompetent patsies will earn you CMM level 5, you think? How could you blab about turning this dingy hole, that has no company perks, decent coffee machine or pantry with basic facilities, into a big shot?
I heard you bought a new house this year and extended your business trip to America to travel with family? But, do you know I was planning to buy my first Scooty with this promotion? Do you care about the dreams and aspirations of my fellow colleagues? We are a bunch of fresh graduates from premier institutes and you barely pay us enough to afford rent.
Four years of rigorous training at college, staying away from home, education loan, hundreds of sleepless nights later I landed in your corporate labyrinth. You Sir made me choke in the frustration of your profoundly stupid work culture and I have had enough.
And I’m glad that we finally cleared that up.
I fire you as my boss with nothing but my dearest sentiments.