How to Deal with Anger About Your Boss

Does your boss make you angry? Well, that is completely normal, but there are some things that you can do before you have an outburst and quit or get fired. There are also things that you can do to make it worse, and they usually involve fighting the feeling or trying to power through it without addressing the anger. 

While anger is a normal emotion that everybody feels occasionally, if you are having deep feelings of rage, prolonged anger, or frequent outbursts, there could be an underlying mental health condition. BetterHelp can connect you with a therapist with the expertise to help you learn coping strategies to better make it through the day without becoming angry. 

Now, let’s look at some of the things that you can do when you feel the anger bubbling up inside of you because of something your boss did or said.

Take a Break 

Anger can make us act in ways that we regret only a couple of hours later. If you have the ability to take yourself out of the enraging situation then you should do it. Take a walk or take some deep breaths. Drink some water and try your best to relax. Just ten minutes away from the situation can allow you to gain perspective and calm down. 

It is better to tell your boss that you need a minute than to say something you shouldn’t have said. It may feel awkward, but it can keep the situation from floating away out of control and into a stressful, anger-fueled argument (that could even cost you your job).

When you take a break, it can also be good to do something else to distract yourself away from the negative emotions. This could be a simple walk or a conversation with a friendly coworker. You may even want to play a game of solitaire on your phone or computer to get your mind off of the angering situation. 

Identify Triggers

Sometimes the same things make us mad over and over. Knowing what these things are is a great step towards changing your response to them. Once you identify them, try to examine what exactly it is that is making you mad. Then you can work on yourself and your reactions to it or confront the situation in order to come to a healthy resolution. 

Also, if you feel like you regularly get mad about certain things that your boss says or does, then it is best to address that. For example, if he asks you to overwork yourself, especially if he doesn’t ask the same from other employees, then you may want to talk to him about it. He may not even realize he is doing it and may even give you more work because you are a solid worker with quality production.  

You can also try to view the situation from your boss’s perspective. You may find that they are not trying to make you mad and they may not even know they are. You may also see that the things you are doing could be frustrating them in a way that you have never thought about. This can give you an outlook that could alter your thoughts and behavior about the situation or situations that often upset you.  

Learn How to Relax

Relaxation techniques are a great way to calm down, but you have to learn which one will work for you and practice them. Learning how to meditate is easier than a lot of people realize and can do a world of good for your anger, stress, and emotion management. This can even help you to improve your productivity at work. 

Some people find that writing is meditative for them. Keeping a journal can also help you identify and address triggers and negative thought patterns that you can then work on changing. It can also help you gain a perspective that may improve your outlook or allow you to see the reasons that certain things bother you so much. 

Another thing that may help you relax is taking care of yourself. It is hard to relax when we do not get enough sleep and exercising can help release dopamine and endorphins that can help you calm down. 

Plus, everyone knows being hungry can make you irritable (hints the word “hangry”) so make sure that you take the time to eat your lunch and snack on something when you feel peckish. Finally, if you find that caffeine is disrupting sleep or contributing to stress, try to reduce your intake or eliminate it altogether. 

Talk to a Friend

Sometimes friends are the best thing for our mood. They can calm us down or talk to us about a difficult situation or event. Just taking the time to talk to a friend, even if it is on the phone while you are at work, can help us relax and gain some perspective. They may even be able to offer advice on how to move forward with your boss in a healthy, beneficial way. 

It can feel good to let out your frustrations and vent to your friend as well, but you do not have to do this. Instead, it is actually better to work towards a resolution. Find a solution for the moment and take the necessary steps towards figuring out how to deal with your anger in a better way in the future. 

Final Thoughts on Anger at a Boss

Everyone gets angry and you may even have the right to be angry. However, you still need to manage your emotions in a healthy way. Try to remove yourself from the upsetting situation and take the time to work on yourself. You can also talk with a friend or learn new techniques that may help you relax. If you find that you still cannot control your outbursts, you may want to seek the advice of a mental health professional. 

[This post is written by Marie Miguel. Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health-
related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.]