A person spends the better part of their waking (and sometimes sleeping) hours at the workplace. So naturally, it’s an integral part of our lives, for good or for bad. However, amidst all the chaos, pressure and the depression, there’s a few people who manage to put a funny spin on everyday situations at work and make it look less like a chore and more like a riot. So here’s our list of 27 of the funniest tweets on office lives and jobs, including some from the funniest Indian Twitter accounts there are. If you have a job, you will relate with them.
1. Ah, talk to the HR is the talk to the hand of the corporate world.
Me: SIR, THE OFFICE BUILDING IS ON FIRE!
Boss: hmm. will talk to HR department about it and see.— pnkj (@AskThePankazzzz) August 18, 2015
2. Why, why why must you put me through this.
Boss: I want this report by the EOD. Get on with it immediately!
Me: Yes sir!
*Boss goes*
Me: pic.twitter.com/ZbpQAYoiXg
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) August 27, 2015
3. I will not be responsible for my actions before I have been adequately caffeinated.
When someone tries to talk to you at work even before you have had your coffee pic.twitter.com/Tl3tPrVqi7
— dorku (@Dorkstar) March 9, 2015
4. Who will do ALL the work?
You can sit idle for days in your office but the moment you ask for a half day leave you become the strategically most important employee.
— Aladdin (@Alllahdin) August 8, 2014
5. This one’s legen…
Boss: It's marked Urgent. Get it done ASAP.
Me: Sure, I'm a pro –
Boss: Great.
Me: – crastinator. So, tomorrow. Kbai.
— SMV (@poisonaavi) April 25, 2016
dary!
6. The struggle is real.
Back to work at 2pm after a heavy lunch with the AC on.
You're like… pic.twitter.com/SbnnPE3Kj8— scaryhairyman (@scaryhairyman) August 14, 2015
7. Because we all know how efficient our “IT departments” are.
IT department in any Office should be renamed to Hit & Trial dept.
"Sir, Internet explorer me try karo, shayad chal jaayega"
— Gabbbar (@GabbbarSingh) January 28, 2016
8. Guilty.
My office drawer always has some cash, powerbank and stationery. Yet people only steal pens out of it.
— Sagarcasm (@sagarcasm) March 7, 2016
9. It’s like, life Modifies after salary.
Pic 1 : Salary credited
Pic 2 : After 10 days. pic.twitter.com/bg0K4olMpk
— Pakchikpak Raja Babu (@HaramiParindey) September 3, 2015
10. We just go from the frying pan into the fire.
Age 16: "Jab bada ho jaoonga tab at least school se homework toh nahi milega"
Age 26: *back home from office* *checks phone* *9 new emails*
— Akshar (@AksharPathak) April 21, 2016
11. Deep
Getting a monthly salary is like getting a period. If you've fucked around, it gives you momentary relief, but then it gets over in 5 days.
— Anuya (@effyourstylist) January 29, 2014
12. Because some optimism never hurt anyone.
Every employee in this office keeps a picture of their family on their desk to remind themselves everyday of who they're disappointing.
— Namaah (@The_HappyNoodle) November 25, 2011
13. We suggest you make note of this pronto.
In officespeak, when a colleague says "I suggest you do this", it roughly translates to "bhosdike jo main bol raha hun kar warna ma chuda"
— Toasty (@supaarwoman) April 7, 2016
14. HahaSoTrueHahaCryinghaha
Dear Customer, Your Ac XXXXXXXXXXXX is credited with INR HAHAHAHA on 31 May – SALARY FOR MAY. Your Net Available Bal is INR HAHAHAHA.
— amrtsh (@floydimus) May 31, 2013
15. Women perks are for real.
Office timings
Men:9.30 am to 6 pm
Single women:10 am to 5 pm
Married women with kids:11 am to 4 pm
Single mothers: Salary will be credited— Ra_Bies (@Ra_Bies) April 7, 2016
16. We have more on what dating a colleague is like.
Best thing about dating someone in office: No long phone convos as you meet each other daily.
Worst thing: You've to meet each other daily.— A muse sing (@LoKarloFollow) January 13, 2013
17. Word.
At office: "I'll do this at home, comfortably w some tea & all relaxed"
*goes home gets in bed* "Too cosy to work. Need a proper desk" – me— Lorem Ipsum (@blahfamous) December 23, 2015
18. We all know those THOSE colleagues are!
We all have this colleague who, we hope, quits his job so everyone in the office is happy. If you don't know any such person, quit your job.
— pnkj (@AskThePankazzzz) May 15, 2014
18. Here’s a few things you want to say to your boss, but you won’t.
Boss: Did you complete the pending work?
Me: pic.twitter.com/JeUPWvLDoO— Anurag Verma (@kitAnurag) February 8, 2016
19. Can’t not wait for another Monday.
Ah! Monday. In office. After two days of doing nothing, all set to under-achieve something.
— Ramesh Srivats (@rameshsrivats) July 9, 2012
20. Wordplay to the rescue.
My colleague at work resigned from office yesterday. I went upto him and said "Cubicle just is not the same without u. Its cbicle."
— Shantanu (@shan_daar) March 6, 2010
21. Bonus what?
How my appraisal went this year. pic.twitter.com/iSbrba3ZUL
— Jahanvi (@intrinsiclutter) April 5, 2016
22. Why did I learn trigonometry again?
What really helps you get by in the office:
Learning things from co-workers: 5%
Guesswork: 4%
Google: 90%
What you learned in college: 1%— Akshar (@AksharPathak) February 12, 2015
23. It’s even more difficult.
When you leave office early and hope nobody sees you.. pic.twitter.com/TQ7ZrqII68
— Keh Ke Peheno (@coolfunnytshirt) April 1, 2016
24. You know you’ve spent far too long working when.
That awkward moment when you stand with your office access card to open door of your house
— Rahul Raj (@bhak_sala) July 2, 2015
25. Imagine going a day at office without those.
Just came to office.
Left headphone at home.
Leaving office.— Lorem Ipsum (@blahfamous) April 9, 2013
26. Also known as office SOS.
"Chalo coffee peete hai!" – 4 magical words in office
— Shakti Shetty (@Shakti_Shetty) September 29, 2015
27. All of us
Me on my salary day pic.twitter.com/PQkyl3Lwss
— Anurag Verma (@kitAnurag) May 17, 2015
28. Bonus tweet, because we like to exceed expectations, unlike your office.
Pic1: Me at home 1 am
Pic 2: Me at office 1 pm pic.twitter.com/OdSzSD8TvQ— Rofl Gandhi Degree (@RoflGandhi_) June 25, 2015