In your office as in your life, you’d come across different kinds of people who influence your life at the workspace. The good, the bad and the ugly. And try as you might, you can’t always help ignore them, but what you can always do is identify them here and have a laugh. So here’s a list of the worst kinds of colleagues who you don’t want to work with.
1. The whine bag
This one can’t stop complaining all the time. “The coffee machine is so slow”, “My boss sucks”, “My seat is set to a whole 10 degree higher than I find optimal for my comfort!”. Argh, you have enough grouses of your own at the office without someone adding to it. You really are trying to be positive here and don’t need a constant whiner to bring your morale down now, do you?
2. The Blue-Eyed boy of the management
A slacker who mysteriously seems to be getting the best ratings, a fat paycheque and all the right sort of attention. I mean you clearly worked way harder than him, and yet he’s the one who goes to the foreign headquarters of your company for 3 months?
He’s the guy who makes life seem plain unfair and leaves you wondering if it’s just his sheer good luck or an under-the-table arrangement with the powers-to-be that’s the cause of his good fortunes.
3. The sob story
They are are the human version of the Friends opening song. Their job’s a joke, they’re broke, their love life’s D.O.A. It’s like they’re always stuck in second gear.
And you are their designated friend. Last week their pet hamster died and the whole office had to know.
4. The first bencher
They’re the ones with topmost enthusiasm about everything at work. Finish all of the week’s work in a day, check. Organize “bring your kids day” at work- check. Fill up the boss’ water bottle the first thing in the day, check.
They are all over the place with their eagerness to do things and they make you look bad with how little you’ve done in comparison.
5. The smelly cat
All of us have had that one colleague who’s as unfamiliar to the concept of personal hygiene as Somalia is to gourmet food. They turn up at work looking like something the cat brought in, and a closer whiff reveals it was a dead rat. A hobo’s socks. A 3 day old fish. All rolled into one. Someone please gift them a deodorant already.
6. The miser
While their personal philosophy about money and its application on their own life is and should not be anyone’s concern, trouble starts when their stingy ways affect everyone else. They shy away from contributing to office funds for birthday cakes or farewell gifts, and insist on going to the cheapest (and the shadiest) place for that long overdue weekend party. Not to mention, if they happen to get promoted, treat, what treat?
7. The flirt
The quintessential forever alone who tries to be the ladies man with this lame jokes and trying-too-hard friendliness. He wants to hit on everything that walks and is single and sometimes even otherwise.
Recommended read: 21 Things That Happen When You’re in a Relationship With a Colleague
8. The cruel prankster
Everyone loves a fun person around, however not someone whose idea of pranking you is shredding your gold award certificate or sticking bobby pins in your chair!
He’s the one reason the word “secret” was invented. No one wants to let him in on the stuff going on their lives, because he will blab it out to someone else at the first chance they get. So, you got a Below Average rating this quarter? Trust him to broadcast it to the office tomorrow morning.
10. The loud speaker
He’s someone who’s forgotten their etiquette at home. He eats loudly, talks loudly, and thinks nothing of broadcasting his sordid personal conversation over phone in a hall full of people. And god save you, if this is someone with a bad voice.