It’s promotion season, and you’ve been unceremoniously cast aside from the selections, like a rabbi at the coronation of the pope. But there are a lucky few who do make it. Here is what they get up to following their job promotion.
1. They get a shiny new designation
“This is to reward your dedication, hard work and constant appreciation of my hairstyle.”
2. Their Facebook job titles change overnight
Previous Title: Senior Irrelevant Cog at Pointless Corporation
New Title: Slightly More Senior Irrelevant Cog at Pointless Corporation
3. They are hounded by their colleagues for treats
“Your professional success must bring us food and booze!”
4. They are congratulated by one and all
5. ..who are completely miserable thanks to them
“Do I at least get your position if you happen to die?”
6. They might get a brand new office
7. And a considerable pay hike
8. Yet they probably do the same job as they always did
9. But now they seem to suddenly have this broad, all encompassing perspective
“I agree we need to upgrade the mainframe, but have you wondered how it will affect our accounting team in central Peru?”
10. And they seem to develop a newfound love for shooting down your ideas
“Basically, no”
11. They start coming in to work sooner
“I can’t wait to be reminded of how great I am!”
10. And start looking a lot more natty
“I’m dressing for the job I already have!”
11. They are suddenly more popular with the ladies
“Psh, not Senior Analyst..just call me Jim”
12. Yet they’ll never, ever shut up about the increased workload
“I have no time to use my newly bought golf club membership!”