Modern careers cab be demanding — there’s deadlines to be met, promotions to be gotten, and careers goals to be achieved. This can mean that there’s a growing tribe of successful professional people, who’re doing really well at work, but don’t quite have the time to be able to find love in their lives.
Single people often confess they suffer from the feeling of worthlessness, unfortunately. Feeling lonely and displeased makes them extremely insecure at times, yet they aren’t the only ones who have been down because of self-esteem issues. Paradoxically, people in the relationships oftentimes feel lonelier and sadder. And visibly, your couple seems normal and non-toxic, which makes this case even more curious. The feeling of worthlessness presses upon a clueless partner, not giving enough satisfaction from this relationship. Consequently, one partner has to take responsibility for a stable life, being even more pressed. After realizing the other one doesn’t seem to change, they get extremely frustrated about the absence of equal roles.
Maybe you don’t get enough attention, your opinion is not validated. Is it a familiar pattern? Do you feel like that outside this relationship, for example, with friends and family? If yes, you are not the only one. Maybe you don’t feel enough support or just are too self-conscious to have a clear vision? What do psychologists say about this problem? It is understandable that at first, you need to realize the issue and put it into words.
Look at the problem from a different perspective
It happens that we project our inner fears onto our couple. Maybe it’s emotional baggage from your previous relationship that ruined the experience for you without you knowing it. Imagine how a stranger would react to your current situation. Would they be concerned about you? Would your problem seem important to them? Sure, if the answer is negative, it doesn’t mean that your issue isn’t substantial. Maybe you should just overlook it from an objective point of view. Maybe you should just meet a nice woman.
Don’t project your inner concerns onto your relationship
You can dislike yourself for several reasons, but it doesn’t mean your partner disregards yours as well. A good talk would make things clear. Are you paranoid, or does your partner gives you too little attention? Because if you understand that you are being fooled and lied to, you know what to do. Learn to differentiate your projections from real neglect, and act accordingly.
Combat your passivity
If you don’t do anything for your relationship, don’t be surprised about the lack of attention. Sometimes you just need to take the situation at your hands. Be initiative, caring, and attentive, even when you have pride, even when a situation doesn’t call for it. This way, you’ll elevate your role, giving yourself an active and strong position and proving your interest in this tandem. There is a quite big chance your partner will follow your lead and will stop waiting for occasions and opportunities. But if you see that the battle is still not on par, leave this relationship. After an objective overview, you don’t need to donate too much time and energy, feeding yourself off to a person that doesn’t deserve you.
Don’t fixate on one person
If you concentrate all your beliefs and praises on your partner, no wonder you won’t feel enough attention and support. Fill in this blank with a different company, let’s say, your friends or family. Get your attention from different sources. That way, you don’t have to rely on your partner.
Define and keep your boundaries
You may want to spend more time with your partner than your partner wants to spend or with you. It doesn’t have to intertwine with his feelings for you, it is just the way they are. The same goes for attention, communication, attraction. Some people are just not givers. You’ll need to sit down and talk about your needs, defining boundaries and learning to compromise without crossing the border.